A Cautionary Tail

Dear readers, i have a story for you! This is a story that may just be true and is certainly based on unfortunately discovered fact. I hope you enjoy it!

This is a story about a farmer. Let’s call him “Bob.” One day Bob decided he wanted to build a nice garden and put some irrigation pipe in. Bob didn’t worry about a septic system because Bob is a little slow. Bob dug and dug, whistling merrily as he worked. Things were going great: he was going to have a beautiful garden!

As Bob dug and installed his irrigation pipe he happened to hit ‘another’ pipe. What sort of pipe is this, Bob wondered? Bob got his answer pretty quick when out of this pipe came all of the gifts Bob had been depositing in his toilet for the last few months. Oh no! Bob was not pleased. Bob was upset! Bob was also poor and had no money to spend calling septic repair guys so he solved his problem himself:  he filled the hole with a bunch of sawdust then covered it with a bunch of heavy railroad ties. Great solution, Bob!

Several years later, farmer Bob lived far far away from this clever solution and a new farmer moved in: meet Miranda! Miranda was generally a pretty “worst case scenario” type person but despite this and the knowledgeable persuasion of her realtor she decided to be optimistic and trusting and not get her septic system inspected before buying her new farm. She did wonder why there were all these grown over railroad ties outside, but she soldiered on and fell more and more in love with her new place. Then one day farmer Miranda discovered some water pooling in her laundry room.

She knew that wasn’t good so she called some septic repair guys, because although she doesn’t have a LOT of money, she does respect the work of professionals. They found a tank: yay! But their snake wouldn’t reach that take: lame! so Miranda was tasked at moving all those railroad ties and digging along a mystery pipe in hopes of finding a mystery second septic tank and hopefully the cause of the blockage. Instead, she found farmer Bob’s little ‘accident’ and again “oh no” was exclaimed, this time by a kind and innocent victim. Again the septic guys were called to arms and hopefully they’ll arrive before dark with plenty of tools. Miranda is clutching her pocketbook, but honestly: some things are worth spending money on. Preventing sewage from spilling all over one’s yard is one of them. Let’s just hope it’s a manageable expense. I mean, how hard is fixing a broken pipe that’s underground and full of sewage, anyway?

Actually, that sounds really, really hard. Pray for me, y’all!!!

How about you – have you ever “solved” a problem in a “creative” way?

8 Comments

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8 Responses to A Cautionary Tail

  1. Oh, no!! Good luck on this one.
    Melissa recently posted…Our First Oregon Christmas

  2. Holy crap. No pun intended. I could not feel worse for you. Here’s hoping the professional you called will be able to dispatch this problem without delay. Kiddo, once these unpleasant and costly setbacks are behind you and you can get some traction on your real mission — you are going to be badass.

  3. Oh NO! Septic problems are the worst! We had nasties coming up into the bathtub. Bill the Plumber came with his backhoe and dug out for new lateral lines for the 45 year old septic tank. We also got low-flow toilets. So Far So Good. I hope your wallet isn’t too damaged, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Ah, the joys of country living! Hang in there!
    Deena O’Daniel recently posted…When is it Time?

  4. Wow. That is super intense! Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your pocket book!

  5. Gina

    You may not have had an inspection, but is there a chance you have some protection through his disclosure statement? In WA, you are supposed to disclose things like that and it gives the buyer some rights.

  6. Pingback: Homestead Update: January 2014, Our first year in review | Pocket Pause

  7. Oh my gosh, this is so unfortunate! Hope everything went okay with fixing it. Thanks for sharing this cautionary tale!

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